LIBERALS ARE FUNNY

or PLUMBER, CANDYGRAM, GLOBAL WARMING…

By Dan Dagget

Saul Alinsky, Rules for Radicals: Rule 5: Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon. It’s hard to counterattack ridicule, and it infuriates the opposition, which then reacts to your advantage.

What’s funny about liberals? That they actually believe that stuff. Liberal dogma, I mean. In fact, if you take off your liberal blinders (If you happen to be wearing a pair), liberal politics reveals itself to be nothing more than a string of second-rate comedy routines.

Take Global Warming, for instance. It doesn’t take a PhD to recognize this scam as nothing more than a cheap imitation of the old Saturday Night Live “Landshark” skit. For those who aren’t old enough to have seen “Landshark” (or are so old they’re unable to remember), it was a take-off on the movie “Jaws.” Bill Murray, disguised in a Muppet-style shark suit, would ring the doorbell of an unsuspecting Gilda Radner, who would refuse to open the door because she had heard there was a landshark prowling the neighborhood. The “shark” would then attempt to fool Radner by announcing itself in a tinny monotone as a “Plumber,” and when that didn’t work, “Cable guy,” or  “Flowers” and finally, “Candygram,” at which point Gilda would open the door, and, there would be the landshark, which would then mock-devour her to the “Dum-dum, dum-dum, dum-dum” theme of “Jaws.”

The difference with the liberal political version of this routine is, instead of  “cable guy,” “flowers,” and “candygram,” liberals threaten us with a litany of crises they’ve dreamed up specifically to convince us that we ought to open the door to what they’re all trying to sell — bigger government. In the 1970s they tried “return of the ice age” to convince us that we should surrender more of our rights and liberties to the government (which means to them), and when we got bored with the “ice age” scare, and it lost its traction, they changed to “the end of the rain forest,” then “death of the oceans,” and “the ozone hole,” More recently, they’ve come up with “global warming,” at which point some of us said, “Wait a minute, You just said “return of the ice age.” Now it’s “global warming?” Do you really think we’re stupid enough to believe that humans are making the world too cold and too warm at the same time?”

So, they changed to “climate change.”

I guess “whatever” is next.

And when we finally do open the door to one of these scams by electing some liberal or other to office, the remedy they propose to solve any or all of these the problems is always the same. In fact, liberals only have one remedy for anything: That we invest them with more authority so they can gobble up more of our freedoms with more government, more regulation, and more sure-fire solutions that don’t work.

The theme music, however, remains the same…

Dum-dum, dum-dum, dum-dum.

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